Ass Pinching 101
by saria almasy albatou kinneas
Summary: Sigma 6 Universe. Tunnel Rat acts on a rather unthoughtout impulse. He pays for it with more than he wanted.


Ass Pinching 101

Tunnel Rat walked through the R.O.C.C, crunching on an apple, no particular destination in mind, he was simply stretching his legs. He passed the doorway to the workshop and immediatley back-tracked until he was standing in the doorway again, gawking.

Someone was down on all fours working on the Ninja bike. They were reaching underneath it to retrieve the lamp, which he assumed had fallen down. He couldn't quite make out who the person was, the light behind them blurred out all the details. All Tunnel Rat knew, was that whoever it was, they had a nice ass.

Stealthily he crept up behind the figure, the person seeming to have trouble getting the lamp. He heard them mutter something under their breath about wrenches. Quick as lightening his hand flew out and...

He pinched their ass...

A loud yelp was heard from under the bike, a decidedly un-manly yelp, and the person flew up and hit their head on the under-side of the bike. Crawling out, before Tunnel Rat could see who the person was, they threw the afore-mentioned wrench and it connected with his forehead.

"OW! GODDAMNIT, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING YOU NEANDERTHAL!?"

"H-Hi-Tech!? Whadd're you doin' here!?" Rubbing his forehead sorely, Tunnel Rat backed up in shock and surprise. Hi-Tech was none to pleased.

"Well gee, Tunel Rat, this just so happens to be MY workshop! Why SHOULDN'T I be here!?" Angrily, Hi-Tech rubbed the spot where he had been assaulted. "God, that HURT, TR! Don't you even know how to do it right!?" Tunnel Rat gave him a confused look.

"What do you mean, 'do it right'? There's only one way to pinch!"

"Not like it's St. Patrick's Day, you moron! That HURT! You have to do it gently, so it's only like a short nip, rather than trying to rip someones flesh off! In Italy, men do it to women and younger girls as a way of expresssing that they think the girl is pretty. It's very common over there, and you do it like this-" Swiftly, Hi-Tech reached around Tunnel Rat and gave him a quick pinch, which he made sure didn't hurt. The result was a very surprised squeak issued from the smaller man.

"H-Hi-Tech! What are you-"

"Ofcourse, we can be a little cruder over here in America, where we tend to grab the ass of an attractive person, rather than pinching it. I'll demonstrate" Once again, he reached around, and before Tunnel Rat knew what he was doing, Hi-Tech grabbed his left butt-cheek with his hand. Withdrawing it after he recieved a yelp, rather than a squeak this time, he continued. "This practice is also referred to as 'groping'. However, it isn't necessarily always a persons backside which is groped. Other places to be groped are the chest, and, for the braver, the crotch-"

Even while he spoke he demonstrated all of the various places that one could be grabbed, touched, or assaulted. With every word, Tunnel Rat's mortification increased, as well as the wonder of how a computer geek could know all of this.

"Now the history of groping is as follows-" Once again using Tunnel Rat as an aid, Hi-Tech continued to give him his lecture, with Tunnel Rat's blush increasing in colour and his sqeuak's and yelps becoming louder and more frequent.

"Around the world, there are many different ways of relating this satisfaction in anothers physical appearance.-"

A half an hour later, a very mortified and abused Tunnel Rat stumbled out of Hi-Tech's workshop, a look of stunned exhaustion and fear written on his face. He just wanted to take a walk, why did he have to act on a 'primal impulse' as Hi-Tech had put it? Why did he stay to be assaulted repeatedly? He just wanted to go back to his room, sit on his bed, and not join the rest of the team for evening chow.

The looks he got as he staggered away were nothing compared to Duke's comment as he passed him. "Tunnel Rat, next time your curious abour something, please save the exploration until you are in your private quarters. You're a very loud partner."

Tunnel Rat raced back to his room, hid under his bed and wouldn't open the door for several hours. Until his stomach rumbled too loudly for him to ignore.

End

AN: Lol, I'm sorry, I thought this up on my way back home from the corner store and I just had to write it! I hope you enjoyed it! 


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